Week 3: Day 1

In the end, its really about a girl. Its not that this girl I have my eye on is attainable, because she's not. And while ultimately I'd love to have her, I accept the fact that I can't. The main thing is that I want to be able to have it. Its a matter of choice and availability.

I want to be able to look a girl like that in the eyes and know that I'm bringing a 100%. None of those bullshit lines people give themselves. "Oh well personality is what matters!", "Its whats on the inside that counts!".

Bullshit.

Do you buy a car with broken mirrors, dented doors, and a sluggish engine because it has "personality". No most people don't. We'd love to lie to ourselves that they do. But no. Just no.

I'm just at the point where I don't want to lie to myself anymore. I don't want to be a 2 out of 3 person. Frankly I'd like to be objectified for once. The pretty people always underestimate how precious that fact actually is. But being on the opposite for all my life has given me sweet perspective.

And so I spend 5 to 6 days of the week in the gym. I pump weights until I cry out trying to do that last rep. It won't be today and it won't be tomorrow, but eventually...eventually I will be the 3 out of 3. Mind, body, and soul. No "But he..." or "Well at least he..". I will be that complete package, so that the next time I see that girl. Any kind of girl. I won't doubt myself for any reason.

Results:

Treadmill: Calorie Burn L3 - 1.3 miles, 293 calories

Pec Fly: 15 reps at 90lbs

Rear Delt: 8 reps at 80lbs

Shoulder Press: 15 reps at 60lbs

Incline Press: 12 reps at 70lbs

Lat Pullodown: 15 reps at 100lbs

Seated Row: 8 reps at 100lbs

Bicep Curls: 8 reps at 90lbs

Week 2: Day 7

So I learned some other important lessons about weight this week. Your weight can flucate wildly throughout the day. I gain/lose around 5 pounds a day, which gave me a heart attack at first. But after doing research I found out that this is perfectly normal. As well the best time to weigh yourself is in the morning. Valuable lessons learned indeed.

I really need to get some measuring tape so I can measure myself. I can tell my arms are bigger, but I can't prove it. Blah.

I find that I enjoy strength training far more than cardio. And when I do cardio I prefer the stationary bike, I just really hate running...

Slowly approaching all of my max's on my weights. I wish I had done this a long time ago. Its surprising how painless its been so far. I wonder what my first plateau will be.

Results:

Stationary Bike: Cardio L3 - 1.5 miles, 340 calories

Pec Fly: 12 reps at 70lbs

Rear Delt: 12 reps at 70lbs

Shoulder Press: 12 reps at 60lbs

Incline Press: 10 reps at 60lbs

Lat Pulldown: 15 reps at 90lbs

Seated Row: 10 reps at 90lbs

Leg Extension: 12 reps at 130lbs

Leg Curl: 12 reps at 130lbs

Biceps Curl: 10 reps at 90lbs

Triceps Curl: 10 reps at 70lbs

End Weight: 299.5

Total Weight Lose: 7.5 pounds

Week 2: Day 3

So supposedly the best way to stay motivated on the track to lose weight is through goals. Short term, half way and long term goals. I'm sure most people would pick very virtuous goals that reflect upon the core of human understanding and kindness. But me?

I'm motivated by simpler things.

I've always been cursed with the "Just friends" sickness. Despite how much I try I always end up being stuck in the vortex of ending up as friends with girls that I have interest in. Is it because of the weight or other things? Hard to say, but weight defintiely has to be a core issue. I mean how many girls want to be friends with like Isiah Washington or Shemar Moore?

Either way, I want be fit to spite the girls in the past. Yes its petty, awfully petty. But highly motivating me. Everytime I'm on the treadmill I think of my upcoming 10 year high school reunion and envision the looks on their faces. With every bicep curl I think of how I would turn them all down with a smile.

Honestly those thoughts have motivated me to lose weight in a way that nothing else ever has. I think these are the things people never admit to themselves and fitness. That sometimes you do it just so you can be smug, and is that really so bad? I don't think so.

So anyway onto the actually fitness part. On W2:D2 I rested as I was still sore from the previous day and work. But today I was back at it. The fruits of my labor in my strength training is starting to pay off. I precedded today to find my max on my weights. I think I've hit my max on everything except Leg Press (because I maxed out the available weights on the machine).

From what I've read if I want to build strength I shouldn't be able to go past 8 reps. I surpassed it on some of the weights I did but I think I'm going to find a weight and it to 20. Once I can do 20 for a week then I'll step up another 10 pounds. My muscles have never felt this big and powerful. Once I've dropped the fat from them I think my arms are going to be super sexy.

Results:

Stationary Bike: Cardio L3 - 1.52 miles, 317 calories

Pec Fly: 12 reps at 70 lbs

Rear Delt: 12 reps at 70 lbs

Lat Pulldown: 16 reps at 80 lbs

Seated Row: 16 reps at 80 lbs

Leg Extension: 12 reps at 130 lbs

Leg Curls: 12 reps at 130 lbs

Bicep Curls: 10 reps at 90 lbs

Tricept Curls: 10 reps at 90 lbs

End Weight: 300.5

Total Weight Lose: 6.5 pounds

Week 2: Day 1

Second week of my work out! Everything is going good so far. I wish I had this dedication a long time ago. But thats the past, no need to fret over it right?

So today I had a big decision over whether to add supplements to my diet. The more research I did the more I saw how much debate their is over them. Since the FDA doesn't regulate supplements the field is rife with crap.

So the thing I wrestled with today was Creatine. I hear it come up a lot in talks about athletes. A wide majority seem to take it with a low incident of side effects. But the question is should I even be looking at it this early in the game? Creatine seems to help you safely increase your maximum muscle ability. And make no doubts I want to be muscular, just not at the risk of my health or my overall health goals. Creatine seems to cause you to gain weight from water retention as you need alot of water to keep from getting dehydrated. And while numbers aren't my goal I'm worried my overall size won't decrease.

So after a full day or so of debating it and researching I've decided not to for the time being. I'm going to just focus on losing the weight and inches in my problem places. Then when I'm happy with that I'll worry about bulking up. Its just hard not to see the ads for these supplements and not want to improve my workout.

But patience right? Indeed I'm trying. Trying so very hard.

Results:

Treadmill: Cardio L3 - 1.5 miles, 324 calories

Stationary Bike: Cardio L3 - 1.57 miles, 317 calories

Pec Fly: 3 sets of 10 reps at 60lbs

Rear Delt: 2 sets of 10 reps at 60lbs (current max)

Leg Press: 3 sets of 10 reps at 170lbs (machine max)

Supine Press: 2 sets of 10 reps at 60lbs (current max)

Incline Press: 6 reps at 60 lbs (current max)

Lat Pulldown: 3 sets of 10 reps at 60lbs

Bicep Curls: 2 sets of 10 reps at 70lbs (current max)

Tricept Curls: 2 sets of 10 reps at 70lbs (current max)

End Weight: 301.5

Total Weight Lose: 5.5 pounds

Week 1: Day 6

Technically I'm writing this on Day 7. But thats only because I was too tired to write this post on the appropriate day, haha.

So on Day 5 I rested, it was hard to find energy to work out after a long 16 hour shift at work (Stupid Black Friday). But I sticked to my diet no matter what.

On Day 6 I hit it hard to make up for it! I did an hour and a half of cardio in the morning and then that night I did another half an hour of cardio and a hour and half of weight training.

So I was doing some research on fitness and training so that I can make sure I'm doing everything right, and I came across an interesting article. The author was explaining why crash diets fail in the fact that people always regain the weight.

Dieting and exercising causes you to lose weight, everyone knows that. The interesting fact is that you also lose muscle with the fat. As much as 30% of the weight you lose is muscle. This is very bad because muscles consume more calories than fat. So those people on crash diets are losing muscle and fat and then going back to their normal diets. But with less muscle it means there naturally consuming less calories. So to keep everything good you have to weight train with cardio to MAINTAIN your current muscles and calorie burning effienciency.

So that leads to an interesting and disappointing fact. You can not lose weight and gain muscle mass at the same time. The two concepts on how to do both are too opposite. To lose weight you have to burn more calories than you consume, which means careful dieting and heartpumping cardio. But to gain muscle you have to consume more calories and protein to be able to convert it into muscles with minimal cardio as to avoid muscle lose.

So its going to take me longer to get to where I want than I thought. First step is to lose the weight. Drop the 50 pounds I want. Then step two is to increase my muscle mass. I think I can do that in a year.

Results:

Treadmill: Cardio L2 - 1.26 miles, 283 calories

Treadmill: Cardio L2 - 1.23 miles, 276 calories

Treadmill: Fat Burn L2 - 1.28 miles, 253 calories

Stationary Bike: Cardio L2 - 1.23 miles, 276 calories

Pec Fly: 4 sets of 10 reps at 40 lbs

Rear Delt: 4 sets of 10 reps at 40 lbs

Leg Press: 4 sets of 10 reps at 170 lbs

Supine Press: 3 sets of 50 lbs

Incline Press: 2 sets of 50 lbs

Lat Pulldown: 4 sets of 60 lbs

Seated Row: 3 sets of 60 lbs

Leg Extension: 3 sets of 100 lbs

Leg Curls: 3 sets of 100 lbs

Bicep Curls: 3 sets of 60 lbs

Tricep Curls: 3 sets of 60 lbs

Week 1: Day 4

So even though I've only been doing this for 4 days now I feel like I've been making progress. I think my daily regiment is going to be the cardio and fat burning program on the treadmill and fat burning program on the elliptical. I find that I hated the treadmill at first but I'm slowly getting use to it.

Did some research as to what would be an effective routine. Apparently your not suppose to weight lift the same muscles daily. You need at least 48 hours to rest your muscles. Interesting information indeed. However you can do running/cardio everyday. So basically the key is to revolve the range of muscles you work out. So this is what my workout schedule is gonna be.

Monday: Cardio then chest and arm workouts

Tuesday: Cardio

Wednesday: Break (only treadmill)

Thursday: Cardio, abs and back

Friday: Cardio

Saturday: Cardio, legs

Sunday: Break (only treadmill)

And thats my routine!

Results:

Treadmill: Cardio Program - 1.01 miles, 200 calories, Fat Burn Program Lvl 2 - 1.5 miles, 300 calories

Elliptical: Fat Burn Program - 1.5 miles, 350 calories.

End Weight: 302

Total Weight Lose: 5 pounds.

Somethings gotta give.

First off let me explain myself. I'm fat. Always have been. If you saw pictures of me as a kid you'd see a fat and unhappy kid. In fact everything I've ever done in my life is held back by my weight. Its something I've known all my life and have been trying hard to deny. My friends have always been good about trying to make me see the positive time even though they know the truth.

But I'm not stupid, I know. However I thought that I could make it up with personality and charisma. And for the most part thats right. I have always punched above my weight when it comes to dating, well at least in high school. Now that I'm out and in the real world my opportunities have steadily dropped to non-existent. It has brought me to the deepest depression I've ever been in in my life. Its made me have thoughts so dark that I dare not share them with any of my friends.

I can either sit here and wallow in my sadness or I can do something about it.

So I'm doing something about, I'm exercising and dieting seriously. Not in a casual sort of way. But in a complete and serious way. I wanted a way to chronicle this to help keep myself motivated.

All thats left now is to see how far this can take me. Shall we see?